Convulsing while "just" reading
I sometimes take a day or half a day off just to read webtoons—and I physically shiver from it. During climactic scenes, my body actually shakes, maybe even convulses, teeth rattling and all.
It's thrilling. It's immersive.
It might be an addiction.
But here's what bothers me: why can't I be addicted to reading books again?
I feel guilty for just reading manhwas/webtoons. I haven't finished reading other forms of fiction ever since webtoons became a thing.
I used to love reading fantasy back in high school. Real books. Novels with weight and pages and that particular smell. Now? I can't seem to get back to them.
And, yes.
I've gone through so many isekais that they've formed a huge amorphous ball of blended memories. I can no longer remember what most of them were about at all.
I can still vaguely recall the ones I'm currently reading or waiting for weekly updates on. But the ones I've finished? They've all merged into that ball—indistinct, interchangeable, lost.
And yet, strangely, I'm still in it for more.
I might've come to believe that you probably gain some spillage of the character's experience from the webtoons you read. Eventually speedrunning your way into enlightenment. 😌
But yes, I strangely feel guilty about that.
Maybe it was only the fantasy I enjoyed back in high school, and somehow webtoons are just a better platform for it?
I don't fully believe that. But based on my body physically shaking—maybe even convulsing—while reading through a climactic scene, maybe that is the case.
Maybe the visual storytelling hits different. Maybe the pacing is designed for dopamine hits. Maybe scrolling through a story creates a different kind of immersion than turning pages ever did.
Or maybe I've just rewired my brain for a faster, flashier high.
A more effective wormhole to escape to.
Now that I think of it, I should really stop considering "just reading" as a noble pursuit.
Here's a Sung Jinwoo for reading this far:
