A rant that only Bear can handle, apparently
Our internet is basically dead right now.
0–400 kbps. Kilobytes.
Occasionally it gasps and spikes to 1 Mbps, like a fish breaking the surface — rare, brief, gone.
This started earlier today, right as I was about to get off work around 6 a.m.
Perfect timing.
Now I’m supposed to be starting work again, but my tracker won’t even load at this speed. Slack is a distant dream.
It’s a pain.
A real, grinding, teeth-clenching one.
🧠 Zooming Out (Against My Will)
If I step back from the immediate anxiety and frustration — just a little — I start noticing the cluster.
My family and I are all sick from the holidays.
Bills are due in a couple of days.
There’s a gel blasters thing planned with friends this Saturday.
For some reason, I’ve been blaming greed for the internet not coming back yet. I don’t even know where that thought came from.
My mouse broke.
I took a photo of our dinner because my boss’s dad passed away (peacefully).
That detail feels strange sitting next to everything else, but there it is.
All of this is happening while I’m itching to actually get work done.
Though, to be fair, I already handled my most urgent tasks.
⏸️ Interruption as Signal
So maybe… rest is in order?
Maybe there’s a chapter I’m supposed to read right now for the rhythm of my reality to snap back into place.
Sometimes it feels like these disruptions happen not to punish us, but to reroute us —
to pull us out of routine before everything collapses into a tight, unlivable loop.
Like the system saying:
“Pause. Do the other thing. The one you keep postponing.”
🐻 A Place to Rant
Before I spiral too far into meaning-making, I’ll just park this here.
Apparently, Bear is the only place I can reliably go when the internet slows to a crawl.
So thanks, Bear.
For holding space while everything else buffers.
I’ll see what the next few minutes decide for me.